If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. Matthew 18:15-17 ESV
In Matthew 5:39, Jesus said, “But I tell you not to resist an evil person. But whoever slaps you on your right cheek, turn the other to him also.” When we read this, it’s easy to think that Jesus is telling us to allow ourselves to be taken advantage of and used as a doormat. He goes on to say that if someone sues us for our tunic to give them our cloak also and if they compel us to walk a mile with them to walk two. We are told to love our enemies.
In our Scripture passage for today, however, he tells us how to deal with someone who sins against us. And if all our efforts fail, he tells us to treat them as a Gentile and a tax collector. Here, Jesus is speaking to the Jews. They shunned Gentiles and Tax collectors.
In Matthew 7:12 Jesus frames what we call the Golden Rule by saying that we should treat others as we want to be treated, so is Jesus contradicting Himself? No, Jesus never contradicted Himself. However, He wants us to do all we can to live at peace with others. Paul said this in Romans 12:18 when he said, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.”
As Christians, we are to strive for peace. In difficult relationships, we are to do all we can to help the other person and lead them to Christ. But we are not expected to tolerate or even be around evil behavior. 1 Thessalonians 5:22 said that we are to abstain from every form of evil.
A friend sent me an inspirational message the other day that said, “Unconditional love does not mean unconditional acceptance of bad behavior.” We are not to tolerate evil, we are to abstain from evil, and we are to shun and stay away from evil.
We are to do all we can to love our enemies and we are to be good to them in hopes of winning them to Christ, but we are not expected to be trampled on.
Even God draws the line with evil behavior and will eventually give the person that resists Him over to their evil desires. You can read about this in Romans 1:18-32. If God reaches a point where he stops tolerating a person’s rejection of Him and continued evil behavior, I’m sure He understands when we do the same.
The Bible encourages us to be good to one another. Our Scripture passage gives us the proper way to deal with someone who has sinned against us. And the Bible also tells us there may come a time when we have to move on.
Do not suffer evil behavior or abuse from another in the name of love or in trying to win them to Christ. If you have witnessed to them and tried to bring them to the Lord, but they refuse it’s okay to walk away.
Love your enemies, be good to those who plot evil against you, but I have never read anything where the Bible tells us we must suffer repeated abuse at the hands of an evil person. We can love them and pray for them from a safe distance.
If you find yourself in an abusive relationship, pray. Talk to a trusted friend, pastor, or counselor. And if you aren’t sure if it’s abuse or unsure what to do about it, there is a national domestic abuse number, 1-800-799-7233 where you can get answers and the help you need.
If you have tried to win that person over to the Lord and failed, know that it’s okay to walk away.
Have a great day!