Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.  Proverbs 13:24  ESV

Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die.  Proverbs 23:13 ESV

For the moment of discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.  Hebrews 12:11 ESV

Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.  Proverbs 29:17 ESV

Children, obey your parents as you would the Lord, because this is right.  Honor your father and mother, which is the first commandment with a promise, so that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life in the land.  Ephesians 6:1-3  HCSB

Okay, so today we are talking about something that I have noticed is not a favorite thing for parents to do.  This is discipline.  Now before you flood me with comments about the whole beating your child with a rod thing, let me say this.  The Bible is pretty clear on the fact that striking your child is acceptable.  Beating your child is another story.  Here we are talking about that touch that lets your child know that you mean business.  I will say this, my mom got angry and was quicker to spank us, but it didn’t hurt as much.  It took so much for my dad to get mad enough to give us a spanking that we really didn’t want him to do that.  But as above in Hebrews, we know that disciplining a child is the unpleasant part of parenting.  However, the fruit that it yields makes it well worth it.

Now some of you who know me know that I don’t have children and may be inclined to stop reading right here.  My sister often told me that the reason I didn’t have children is that I was too busy raising everyone else’s kids.  You see, I worked for 18 years in the Department of Corrections as a juvenile probation and parole officer.  I saw cases where good parents had children who got mixed up with the wrong crowd, but I would venture to say that at least 80 per cent of my cases were children that were in the judicial system as a result of poor parenting or no parenting at all.  There were many children being raised by grandparents because their parents were on drugs or in prison.  Others lived with their parents, but their parents were way too busy dealing with their own issues to be worried about what their children were doing.  Children need love, supervision, and discipline.  Without it they tend to get into trouble.

So as we continue to look at Godly families, I wanted to look at what the Bible said about raising children.  The Bible does not say anywhere that a child should not be disciplined.  On the contrary, it says that even though it is unpleasant, it is necessary (Hebrews 12:11).  I don’t know if you are a father that is in the home with your children, or a weekend dad, but the Bible gives very clear instructions to you to not withhold discipline from your child.  Many times I saw children manipulate their parents and pit them against each other.  Parents who felt guilty about bringing their child up in a divided home often overcompensated by looking the other way when the child’s behavior was unacceptable or trying to buy the child everything they asked for.

Another thing about discipline is that it takes time.  If you ground your child, you need to be there to be sure that the child stays put.  If you take the phone away, you are probably going to have to endure a great deal of whining and complaining.  Perhaps you could add a day for each time the child begs, whines, or complains.  I think it is wonderful when you and your child can talk about anything and your child knows that they can come to you with any problem, but too often I see parents that want to be their child’s buddy and fail to parent them.

Now Ephesians 6:1-3 tells children that they are to obey their parents.  It reminds them that the first commandment is honor thy father and thy mother.  But we all know that children aren’t born being respectful.  Children aren’t born treating others kindly.  Children aren’t born obeying the rules of the home.  This is learned behavior, just as learning to count and saying their ABCs.  Proverbs 22:6 tells us to train up a child in the way that he should go and he will not depart from it.  In order to train a child in the way that he should go, we sometimes have to use disciplinary measures.

We have been talking about having Godly families this week as we head into Father’s Day weekend.  So I ask you today, when your child looks at your life, what does he see?  Does he see a Godly example?  Does he see someone who can exert discipline but still love unconditionally, just as God does with us?  Does he see someone who brings him to church and shows him what good stewardship looks like?

And Moms, if you have a father who is present and disciplining your child, as I said yesterday, are you hurting or helping?  Do you present a unified front or do you undermine what Dad does?  Or do you use that line, “you just wait till your father gets home”?  That one makes me crazy.  I wish my mom would have said that.  By the time my dad got home, she would have calmed down and probably not even bothered to say anything.  Also, my dad would have hugged me and told me not to do it again.  I only got spankings from him when I had pushed him to the limit.  My mom handled it when I upset her.

And parents if you get nothing else out of today’s blog, then please pay careful attention to this.  As someone who spent years in the law enforcement field, I strongly encourage you to never teach your children to fear the police.  Please don’t ever say something like, “if you don’t behave that  policeman is gonna get you and put you in jail.”  I can’t tell you how many times I have witnessed parents do this.  If your child were to ever get lost or if someone was trying to abduct them, then you should hope that they would cry out to the police officer for help.  They may not do this if you have taught them to fear the police.  So please, please don’t ever say that.  Your job is discipline.  The police officer’s job is keeping your child safe.  And just so you know, it really infuriates most law enforcement officers when parents do that.  Just sayin’.

Growing up in this day and age is something that I would not want to do, but if you have children, then they have no choice but to plow through.  My prayer today is that you are helping them and training them to be good strong Christians.  If you are doing this, then you are preparing them to weather life’s storms.

Have a great day!