It Was Me

For this reason, I speak to them in parables, because looking they do not see, and hearing they do not listen or understand.     Matthew 13:13 HCSB

This passage is Jesus explaining to His disciples why he uses parables to teach. He goes on in the next verses to say that in those who are not believers, Isaiah’s prophecy is fulfilled and they listen and listen and never understand and they look and look and never perceive. He explains that this is because their heart has grown callous and their ears are hard of hearing and their eyes have been shut. He says that otherwise they might see with their eyes, hear with their ears and turn back and He would cure them. But, He goes on to explain that for those who believe their eyes and ears are blessed because they do see and hear.

I am happy to say that my eyes and ears are now blessed, but it wasn’t always that way.

I was saved and baptized as a teenager and for a long time my eyes could see and my ears could hear and life was good. I wanted to do what was right and that kept me out of trouble. But there came a time during my college days when I thought I knew what I was doing and I was wrong.

I would spend many of years on a spiritual roller coaster. I would be up and down. I would draw near to God and I would fall away.

Eventually, my sin would bring me to a point in my life where I just didn’t get it. I had grown up in church. I knew right from wrong, but I had literally been blinded to my own sin. I honestly could not “see” the problems with my sinful behavior. And as crazy as it sounds, I heard what the preacher said, but I didn’t understand that it went for me too. I just thought I was so special, I could get away with my sin. I thought God would overlook my pride. I thought it would all be okay. I was special, alright, but not in a good way.

I had been blinded and was deaf to what was really going on. I began to blame everything and everyone else for my problems. My job was the problem. My relationships with others were the problem.

As long as I blamed everyone else, my problems only grew. I decided to be more dedicated with my church attendance.  The more I dedicated myself to church attendance and tried to draw nearer to the Lord, the more my sins were like big neon billboard signs right in front of me. God was opening my eyes and my ears to my sin. He was allowing me to regain my sight and my hearing.

In this process, I had to face facts. It was me. I was the problem. It wasn’t anyone or anything else in my life, just me. I cried out to God and asked Him to fix all these problems in my life. He finally allowed me to see that I was the only problem that needed fixing. He allowed me to understand that the only way to fix it was to give it all over to Him. So, that’s what I did.

I admitted that it was me and all me. I believed in Him and confessed my sin to Him. I repented of my sin and asked Him to remove this sin from my life. I trusted Him with it. He immediately destroyed the strongholds in my life that were keeping me from breaking free from my sin. Then, He began rebuilding my foundation from the ground up. He gave me a solid foundation in Jesus Christ.  I am so grateful to God for allowing me to regain my sight and my hearing. I am thankful that He allowed me to understand what was needed in my life.

If you have lost your sight, your hearing and your way. Know that Jesus is the way, the truth and the life and that no man comes to the Father except through Him (John 14:6). Know that we were made to be in fellowship with the Father. So, if your life is not what you had hoped, maybe it’s you. Maybe you are blind to your pride and your sin. Maybe you sit in the church pew, but don’t hear that you are a sinner. Maybe you just don’t get it. But you can regain your sight and your hearing. You can surrender to Christ today.

For so many years, I failed to submit and surrender. I was holding on to my sin like a security blanket. I was sure that if I could just get God to fix all that was wrong around me, it would be okay. But it was me, He only had to fix me.

He can fix you too if you are willing to surrender.

Have a great day!