“For if you forgive people their wrongdoing, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well. But if you don’t forgive people, your Father will not forgive your wrongdoing.”     Matthew 6:14-15 HCSB

This passage comes after Jesus teaches His disciples how to pray in Matthew 6:9-13 in what’s called the Model Prayer or some call it the Lord’s prayer. Verse 12 says, “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.”

Are you harboring bitterness and unforgiveness against someone? When we have unforgiveness in our heart against someone else it is like carrying a weight around all day. It is tiresome and bothersome.

Perhaps someone has done something against you that you feel is unforgivable. Maybe they have done something to someone you love and you just can’t forgive them. Maybe what they did was so awful you feel that it doesn’t warrant forgiveness. Maybe you think they should suffer.

Well, my friend, when we harbor unforgiveness, bitterness, and wrath, we are the ones who suffer. I can assure you that the person you refuse to forgive is going on about their merry way they may not even know and certainly don’t care that you are mad at them. Evil people don’t feel remorse. When people are led by the devil they may even have a sense of pride for the evil acts they have committed.

But, if you are a Christian, your unforgiveness will eat away at you. The Holy Spirit is grieved by our unforgiveness which leads to bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander. Ephesians 4:31 tells us we must rid ourselves of such things. Think about it this way, if someone else’s actions have grieved you and you refuse to forgive them, then you in turn are grieving the Holy Spirit. This is not something we want to do.

Forgiveness is a choice we make. We choose to lay aside our pride, which God hates, and forgive that person. Now let me say that I have found myself in situations where I felt what the person had done to someone I loved was unforgivable. I find that harder than forgiving something done to me personally. But, then I thought about the things that I had done. What if God just told me that they were unforgivable? What if He told me that I would just have to burn in hell for my sins? We like to categorize sins into small sins and big sins, but sin is sin in God’s eyes. Do you want God to forgive you of even the “smallest” sin so that it will not block your entry into heaven? Well, our scripture passage says that you must forgive others.

Now I will admit that there have been times when I thought forgiveness would be impossible, but then I remembered that all things are possible for God (Matthew 19:26, Luke 1:37). So, I turned to God for help with this. I asked Him to help me to forgive those persons that I felt had done what was unforgivable. I asked Him to remove all bitterness from my heart. It didn’t happen over night. It took a couple weeks of me praying that same prayer, but God helped me forgive them. He removed my bitterness and anger against them. He changed my heart.

He didn’t reconcile the relationship, I still don’t trust these people, but I have forgiven them. When God changes our heart, He give us wisdom and discernment.

Maybe you haven’t forgiven someone because you choose not to. Maybe you haven’t asked God to help you forgive them and remove the bitterness because you like holding on to it. Forgiveness is a choice just like our salvation is a choice. We are told in 1 John 1:9 that if we confess our sins, He is faithful to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Romans 5:8 says that while we were still sinners, Jesus died to save us from our sins. God didn’t wait for us to say we’re sorry to send salvation to us. But, He did give us free will. We have to choose salvation just like we have to choose to forgive others.

My friend if you think that what someone did was so horrible that they don’t deserve to be forgiven, then ask yourself if you deserve to be forgiven. Do you deserve for God to forgive you of your sin? Our scripture passage clearly tells us that if we refuse to forgive that God will not forgive us. Is it really worth all that?

Make the choice to forgive today. If you are having a hard time with that, turn to God. He will help you. Holding on to unforgiveness is like diving into the ocean with a cinder block tied around your waist. Let God help you to let go of it today. Trust in Him and He will show you the way to live life in abundance without the burden of unforgiveness. Choose to forgive today and choose to be set free from the bondage it puts us under.

Have a great day!