As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in ignorance, but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior, because it is written, “YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY.”
1 Peter 1:14-16 NASB
In my years working in the juvenile justice system I saw good parents who had children that went astray and I saw cases where the parenting was horrible or even non-existent and the child reflected that poor parenting. I would venture to say that 80 per cent of my cases were due to poor parenting.
We like to say that there is no instruction manual that comes with children which tells us how to raise them, but actually the Bible has a lot to say about parenting. It serves as our instruction manual on everything including marriage, parenting, and family relations.
When I began working with adults, I was seeing the long term lasting effects of poor parenting in many cases. I worked with adults who were 40 and over and had never learned to accept responsibility for their actions. I dealt with parents who themselves were 65 and older and were still making excuses for their adult children’s bad behavior.
I may be telling my age, but I grew up in a world where when I acted out in a store and my mom spanked me, she got an attaboy. No one was running to the phone calling OCS. There were no cellphones in that day for someone to pull out to start videoing and accusing my mom of abuse. People commended parents for good parenting skills. The bible addresses this. In Proverbs 13:24 it says that whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline. It takes time, effort, and patience to properly discipline a child. But if you truly love that child, you want what is best for him and what is best is that he learn discipline at an early age. Proverbs 29:15 tells us that the rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother. Proverbs 29:17 says, “Discipline your son and he will give you rest; he will delight your heart.”
We live in a world where every kid gets a trophy no matter how poorly they perform and no one keeps score. Things have sure changed since we were kids, but we must understand that God’s ways of discipline have not changed. He expects obedience, not half-hearted obedience, but full obedience. He will discipline us when we get out of line. He does this because He loves us.
My dad was not saved during my time that I lived at home. He was short on patience and long on temper. But looking back, I realize that when it came to me he exercised more patience at times than maybe he should have. You see there were lines that I knew not to cross, but when I tried to not only cross but erase those lines, I was whipped with a belt. Now following a spanking, my dad used to always tell me that it hurt him more than it hurt me for him to have to do that. Some of you are nodding your head and remembering those days and some of you are cringing in horror at the cruelty. But, before you cringe in horror, let me tell you that he did not have to do this very often. I had a healthy respect for my dad. I knew what the consequences of my actions would be. There are many scripture passages that tell us not to fear, but there are many scripture passages that tell us that we should fear the Lord. This type of fear doesn’t mean that we are afraid of God, it means that we have a healthy respect for the Lord. We understand that He loves us enough to take the time and effort that it takes to discipline us.
I thank God for my earthly parents that were there to correct me when I got out of line. I thank God for the stance that they took on keeping me straight. I also thank God for His loving mercy as well as His discipline. There have been times in my life when I felt as though I was being disciplined for wrongs that I had done, but it was not as harsh as I deserved because I serve a loving, merciful God. It was harsh enough, however, to get my full attention if you know what I mean.
Let’s face it, when you see that little kid throwing that tantrum in the store and the parent that stands there looking helpless and hopeless, you see that as a reflection of bad parenting, right? But, when you see that well mannered and well behaved child, you see that as a reflection of good parenting.
Well, as adults we will be seen as children of God or demon spawned. So, ask yourself, when others look at you what do they see? Do they see a reflection of a good, good Father, or do they see the devil himself? I hope that they see Jesus reflected in all that you say and do. I hope they see that you are a product of good parenting.
Have a great day!