The Lord God said,  “It is not good for the man to be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him.”  Genesis 2:18

That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.  Genesis 3:24 NIV

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.  Ephesians 6:31  NIV

However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.  Ephesians 5:33 NIV

With father’s day approaching, we are talking about the status of families in our country today.  I am encouraging you to look at your family and see if it looks like something out of a horror movie or if it lines up with God’s word.

Yesterday we talked about Adam’s responsibility, as the head of the family, to keep Eve out of trouble.  But today we will look at how wives should conduct themselves in a Godly fashion.

My husband and I were married seven and a half years ago.  My brother-in-law was an ordained preacher and we asked him to perform the ceremony.  He and my sister attend another church.  We also wanted our pastor to participate and asked him to do a scripture reading.  I told him to do whatever God lead him to do and we never discussed what he would be reading.  So at our wedding as I stood in front of our church looking into my soon-to-be husband’s eyes, our pastor begins his scripture reading with Ephesians 5:21.  I am sure my mouth fell open.  I had meant any scripture but that one.  The verse that says “wives submit to your husbands“, well I just wanted to pretend that  one wasn’t in there.  But guess what?  It’s there!  Right there in Ephesians 5:22.  There is no escaping it.  Now it also tells husbands to love their wives as Christ loves the church remembering that Christ was crucified for the church. So that’s a love that can’t be denied.

But in all honestly submitting was hard for me.  I had been deeply hurt and abandoned in two marriages prior to this.  I tried my best to stay independent and keep that wall up to protect myself, but here is our pastor telling me that I have to submit?  Oh boy!  Now I have to say this for my husband, most of the time he is loving and giving and selfless.  When he loves me as God’s word instructs, I find it much easier to submit.  So today I am asking you wives, how is your whole “submitting to your husbands” thing going?

Now let me say something first and foremost.  If your husband is abusive, this doesn’t apply.  We are to submit to God first. If you have found yourself in an abusive relationship, I am encouraging you to speak with a pastor or trusted friend about removing yourself from that type of relationship.  God certainly did not intend for women to suffer abuse at the hands of our husbands.  Our husbands are instructed to love us as Christ loved the church even going so far as to give their lives for us.  This means that they can give up some things like excessive anger, alcohol, drugs, or other things that may be harmful.   If Christ gave up his life for the church then a man can give up bad habits for his wife.  So with that being said, wives are you helping or hurting your husband?

First of all, if you have married a man that is not saved, you have put yourself in a situation where you are unequally yoked.  Now this is something that the bible tells us not to do (2 Corinthians 6:14).  This can be applied to all close relationships.  But let’s say that you did not heed that scripture and you are a Christian married to an unsaved man.  Well, my mom was that way with my dad.  You see when they were married, my dad was not saved.  My mom was a devout Christian who not only attended church every time the doors were open, but served in her church in many different positions.  This made their marriage rough at times, but my mom kept going to church.  So my first piece of advice is don’t allow your unsaved spouse to entice you to stay out of church.  My next piece of advice is to not only set a good example with your life, but pray for that person.  We all prayed for my dad and praise God, at the age of 80, he was saved.  So there is still hope for those of you who have married an unbeliever, it may just be a much harder road.

Now what about those of you who have married good Christian men?,  Well, are you helping or hurting?  Are you staying strong in your faith?  Are you supporting them in their endeavors?  Are you praying for them each day and praying for God to strengthen them?  We all know that we all sin and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23).  So are you doing everything you can to help them?  Sadly, I must admit that I sometimes fall short of this with my husband, so allow me to apologize to him and God, and say that I am going to try to do better.

The bible tells us that we are not to be stumbling blocks to other Christians (1 Corinthians 8:9).  Ladies, I know we lead very busy lives and if you are like me, you forget everything that is not written down.  So I want you to remember something that is written in the bible.  1 Peter 5:8, Be alert and of sober mind.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  A godly couple or family is a huge threat to the devil.  He will seek to destroy you.  So keep this in mind when you are tempted to berate your husband in public.  Keep this in mind when you get angry at your husband.  Think about what is really going on.  Think about the fact that the devil will use anyone he can, to get to us and to destroy us.  Don’t let him use you as a stumbling block to your husband.  If the devil can destroy our witness, even better.

Now I don’t know about you, I can only speak for myself, but my mouth is what usually gets me in the most trouble.  I encourage you to join with me in thinking before we speak.  When I am speaking to and about family members, am I helping or hurting?  Am I lifting them up?  Am I reaching a hand out when they need to be pulled up?  Or am I pushing them further down?

Tomorrow we will continue our study in Godly family relationships.

Have a great day!